Women are Crazy: Part 1

The Following post was fun to write, so please read it in the same spirit of fun.

I am a woman, and what I am about to admit to you, is a hard truth, BUT it is the truth. That is the first step to recovery from this *ahem* madness.

I Am Crazy.

I don’t mean in a clinically diagnosed, I- can –take- medication- to- smooth- things- out- crazy. I mean crazy because of the simple fact that I have feminine hormones. You know, the ones ladies. They make us moody, cranky, hyper, horny, not horny, indecisive, decisive, sad, happy, and all of that in the space of a single day.

All women are crazy. We just don’t like to admit it, as if this will somehow give the men the upper hand. Which it won’t, because we have things that they want and can only get from us. (Use your imagination, I ain’t going to spell that one out.)

This is not something we can change, we are born with the crazy gene attached to the hormone estrogen. Do I have scientific fact of this? No. I have, however seen this play out far too many times in real life, not to acknowledge that ALL WOMEN ARE CRAZY. It doesn’t matter their age, or culture. Me included. Don’t try to deny it, don’t get your panties in a twist and leave a nasty note, all that does is confirm what it is I’m writing here.

You, yes, you my friend, are as nutty as I am. The worst part? Often, even WE don’t know why we do the crazy things we do.

A quick breakdown of the numbers that I have calculated inside my head. 95% of women are crazy, they are openly bonkers, saying and doing things that not only make you shake your head, but leave you wondering how they make it through life from day to day. The other 5% (I put myself in this category) are ALSO crazy. But we have learned to hide it from the general populace. My poor husband, though, he gets to see the “dark” side of me, and often comments on how I’m going to be a weird old lady with a hundred cats one day. Yes, true love it is.

But below I’ve put together (Okay, actually stolen a great deal from AA) 12 steps that can help you go from the 95% into the 5%. Of course, if you are reading this, nodding and laughing, you are probably already in the 5%. Or so far gone, we can’t save you.

1.     We admit we are powerless over the crazy gene—that our lives have become unmanageable because of it.(My husband is rolling on the floor with this one)

2.     We have come to believe that SOMETHING could restore us to sanity. I have yet to find out what this is, but surely SOMEONE will figure it out.(Maybe chocolate? I’m thinking that wine will only add to the crazy.)

3.     Make a decision to use our Craziness, ONLY for good, and not for evil. Hard, but doable. Think about the words that are coming out of your mouth before they leave your lips. A good filtration system is the first step to appearing sane.

4.     Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. But not TOO deep as we may just find more crazy below the first layer. Which would be bad. Really bad. Especially if we let it out.

5.     Admit to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our craziness. Being crazy, I believe it will be more of a matter of limiting that number to only one other person. You know what I’m talking about, the whole world doesn’t need to know you convinced your husband/spouse to shave his body hair into patterns.

6.     We’re ready to acknowledge our craziness completely, recognizing that it will always be a part of us, and IN FACT, get progressively worse with age and hormone fluctuations if we do not now, try to keep it in check.

7.     We ask that those around us accept our craziness, recognizing that it is indeed a part of us, and help to keep us from going totally off the rails.

8.     Make a list of all persons we have exposed to our craziness to in one form or another and try to explain it away. Actually, don’t do this, it will only add to their perception that you are bonkers when you try to explain the logic behind giving your cat a hair cut like a poodle and dying it’s fur pink. Not to mention, the dress you put it in.

9.     We will make direct amends to such people whenever possible. Ah, this is where the wine and chocolate comes in.

10.    Continue to take personal inventory, and when we are being crazy, promptly admit it. Again, only to one person. If you grab every person on the street and shout “I’m being Crazy!” that kind of defeats the purpose.

11.   Recognize that it is only through serious control that we, as women, can begin to change the perception of those around us. You know, make them believe we aren’t crazy, when indeed we are just hiding it well. (We all want to be in the 5%)

12.  Have had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to all women, so that the craziness shall diminish in the world. And men will shut the hell up about how damn nutty we are. =)

If you'd like to admit your craziness to the world in the comments section, please feel free to do so.

Check in later this week to read about my post on the benefits to the Madness that is Woman.

Amazon Gift Certificates Up for Grabs! (ENDED)

Time for a contest! This is a warm up for the iPad contest I will be running in September. A kind of pre-show if you will. But this is also a thank you for all the love from the online community of readers and writers.

I’ll keep this contest basic, fun and with prizes I know you’re going to love.

AMAZON GIFT CERTIFICATES!

$50 grand prize!

$25 first place!

$10 second place!

The more people that enter the contest, the more gift certificates I’ll give out and the higher the grand prize will go!

Here’s how you get entries.

Blog follower- 2 entries

Twitter follower- 2 entries

Like my Facebook page- 2 entries

“Sundered” ‘s book trailer on your blog – 2 entries

Refer a friend – 2 entries

Any friends that you refer only have to identify that you sent them my way. They can give me either your name, email or Twitter handle when they make a comment. This is unlimited to how many referrals you can have. Ways to get referrals- tweet the contest, blog about it or send out an email to your friends to help you get more entries.

*If you want to be entered in this contest, you must make a comment, so at least know you want to get your minimum entries for being a blog follower. But of course, why would you stop there? Get your friends involved and make them enter too, it’ll give you a better shot at that $50 AND give them a chance at a great prize!

Any questions about how to win, how to comment or anything else please contact me at motionsrider@yahoo.ca

This contest will run from Sunday August 14th till Saturday August 20th midnight. Prizes will be awarded on a random draw and sent out by August 24th. This contest is open internationally.

Good Luck!

The process of Becoming a Writer . . the reality.

This is for fun and maybe it looks a tad cynical but I wrote it all with a smile knowing that we all get here at some point.

What a non- Writer thinks the process of getting a book published takes.

Step 1- Write a book

Step 2-Sell book to a publisher

Step 3- Roll in all the money that flows from the Heavens

What a newbie writer thinks the process of getting a book published takes.

Step 1-Write a book

Step 2-Query an agent and sign a contract

Step 3- Agent sells book to a publisher

Step 4- Roll in all the money that flows from the Heavens

What a writer who’s been in the trenches a while thinks the process of getting a book published takes.

Step 1- Write a book

Step 2- Revise said book more than once

Step 3- Query many agents, pick your favourite who requests your material

Step 4- Agent sells book to publisher

Step 5- Roll in all the money that flows from the Heavens

Then there is the reality of getting a book published.

Step 1- Write a book, this might take you three months is might take you 3 years

Step 2- Revise, revise, revise

Step 3- Hire an editor to work with you on your book, query letter and synopsis

Step 4- Attend conferences and educational seminars to network and learn about the business

Step 5- Revise again now that you’ve learned some more

Step 6- Query agents

Step 7- Receive many rejections, revise query and submit again

Step 8- Wait

Step 9- Still waiting

Step 10- Yay! An agent want to read your manuscript

Step 11- It’s not for them

Step 12- Query again

Step 13- Another agent asks for a read, this time they sign you on!

Step 14- Revise manuscript again as per agents suggestions

Step 15-Agent submits to publishers

Step 16- Wait

Step 17- Still waiting

Step 18- Publishers like it and sign you to a contract

Step 19- Money does not flow from the Heavens and you are not suddenly JK Rowling.

Step 20- You can finally say you are a published author and that alone is worth all the time, blood, sweat and tears the process pulls out of you. And for most of us, that acknowledgment needs to be enough because 20 steps might not be all it takes. It might take 30, or even 40 depending on the timing, what we write and who we pitch to.

Is there anything you can add to this list? A step I’ve missed or glossed over?

My husband and a Zombie Apocalypse

While fishing last weekend my husband and I had a very eye opening chat, one that involved, you guessed it, a zombie Apocalypse.

Why would we talk about this? Well, no need to get into the how of it, but what I found fun is that my hubby finally had a chance to see how my brain works, even when sitting and doing nothing.

Husband- "What's the first thing you would do if zombies over ran the world?"

Me- "Large fence with razor wire around the property, we could survive on the garden and the farm for a good long time. We could get some solar panels to pair up with the generator. Guns, we'd need lots of guns and ammo.Not to mention the fact that we have a well with perfect water, cows, chickens and food storage. We'd be good for at least the first wave of dead things.

Husband- Silence then, "You've thought a lot about this."

Me- "It's what I do when I'm not thinking about my writing. My brain has to keep busy." A pause and then, "After the initial wave, that we'd have to look into a semi that we could tank in a large portion of fuel."

Husband- "Wouldn't people see that and want to steal it? Surely there would be other survivors."

Me- "We'd bury the tank of course, have some sort of holding system. Not to mention there won't be too many survivors, I mean really, how many people actually think about things like surviving a zombie Apocalypse?"

Husband- "I can think of at least one."

It was a fun day fishing all and all and now the hubby knows that when the zombies start to over run the world, we at least will be ready for them. :)

How would you prepare for a zombie Apocalypse?

Writer's Need Cats. . .Or is it Dogs?

The eternal question : Do cats rule and dogs drool or is it the other way around? When it comes to writers, it seems the question is even more pertinent. Within my own writing group there was a three day eamil debate over whether or not having a cat was necessary to not only being a writer, but in particular, a good one. The question never was answered so I'm going to pose it here.

The qualities of a cat lend themselves to us habitually loner types. Cats are more independent, less needy, self entertaining and yet they still are a form of company that is less intrusive than a person asking what’s for dinner every freaking night.

Dogs tend to be just a tad bit needier, they have to be fed on schedule, walked on schedule and they can almost be as demanding as a two year old child in their wants. This can be counter-productive to keeping on your writing schedule or just plain breaking up a great flow you’ve got going on.

I have some of each, my indoor cat Falene is my writing buddy, my little grey and white tuxedo. She sits on my lap while I type and settles in quite happily for the duration, no matter how long it is (In fact, she's sitting on my lap as I type this.) Our two boxer’s are another matter altogether. While they aren’t particularly demanding, I feel bad if I don’t spend time with them or take them out for multiple walks when I’m home and I squirm under their sad eyed scrutiny if I’ve sat for too long. That is the factor that gets me every time. The guilt factor. As a writer I can immerses myself in my stories for hours on end and the cat doesn’t care. The dogs not so much, they want attention, need it and demand it. And I give it to them because I’m a conscientious dog owner.

In all honesty, no matter how I try to deny it, I do prefer cats (though I would never give up the boxer girls for anything). I like the air of mystery about them, something that even a house cat never truly loses.

Which is it for you? Do you prefer a cat, dog, or some other critter that soothes the lonely hours of writing yet doesn’t disturb your creativity?

American Idol for Writers

I've been thinking that if there was the equivalent for American Idol amongst and for authors I would enter in a heartbeat. Then I really considered what sort of things I might have to do to prove I could be an author. Instead of challenges, I think the things you would have to do to in order to move forward in the competition would be called Tasks. And they would suck.

Task 1- Write up a complete outline for a full length novel and shoot a book trailer for it. You have 1 hour.

Task 2- Take that outline, take out the main plot and insert a new plot using the same characters. Re-Shoot the book trailer.

Task 3- Pitch the best of the two stories to your top five favorite agents. You have less than 5 minutes with each agent to sell your book. Try not to sweat too much either, agents don't like that.

Task 4-One of the agents has asked to see your mansucript, the full manuscript. You have 1 week to complete the novel and 1 day to edit it.

And so on and so forth. At first glance a competition for writers would be great, but I don't think after some serious thought that I'm up to the Task. ;p

If you had to add a Task to the list to make for a tough competition, what would it be?

A Post to make you Giggle

This is a just for fun post, because life can get too dang serious and we need a good laugh once in a while, which of course is great for the stomach muscles. Be prepared, this should give you quite the workout! I’ll leave it to you to figure out which ones apply to the writing community. For those who aren’t writers I mean numbers 4, 6 & 14.

Bumper Stickers

1. Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics

2. To err is human, to arr is pirate

3. I’ve got a God-given right to be an atheist

4. Even if the voices aren’t real, they’ve got some good ideas

5. I’m great in bed, I can sleep all night

6. Eliminate and abolish redundancy

7. I started with nothing and I still have most of it left

8. Help! I’ve farted and I can’t roll down my windows

9. Even though this is a stupid sticker, you’re still squinting to read it

10. My other bumper sticker is funny

11. If you can read this I’m not impressed. Most people can read.

12. My day is not complete until I’ve terrified a complete stranger

13. I’m only speeding cause I really have to poop (I actually bought this for my dad!)

14. My podcast beat up your blog

15. Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?

An Education in Getting Lost

Yesterday was my first class at Simon Fraser University on Editing Fiction. For me and Wendy, my friend who is also taking the course, the day started at about 4am. Unlike the rest of the students, we are travelling from the Island over to Vancouver for this course. The class doesn’t start until 10am, but in order to get there on time, we have to catch the first ferry, then a bus and then get lost. But more on that in a minute.

The ferry was packed which struck me as odd for 6:30am on a Saturday in March. Until I looked closer at the passengers. They were all teenagers of varying ages. Some intrepid discussions with the one (1) parent who seemed to be overseeing the three hundred plus kids told me that there were multiple events on the mainland this weekend. Great. The ride on the ferry was anything but quiet, the teens running rampant, irritating the ferry workers and generally just hopped up on whatever sugary cereal their parents had fed them before leaving, knowing that they would have a child free Saturday.

Once the ferry docked, Wendy and I ran for the bus below. Why you may ask? Because the dang bus was scheduled to leave three minutes before we docked and of course, we didn’t know that the bus would wait for us. This running though cement hallways and down stairs got interesting real fast. Laptop bags flopping and panic at missing out bus rising, we passed teens as they dawdled their way to the exit. At one point Wendy lost sight of me as the teens flowed and ebbed around us like a living current, filling in any spaces left open.

We made it to the bus, sat down and breathed a sigh of relief. A good friend of ours had told us that if we took the 257 into downtown, from there we could see the campus and walk across the street to SFU. He was wrong about that. Nearing the end of the bus ride, the seats around us empty, I stood and asked the driver which stop would allow us to walk to SFU. The blank stare and shake of his head had my palms sweating in an instant. “No SFU on this route.” Left me ready to puke.

I sat back down. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Wendy had trusted me to plan the travel portion of our trip and here I was getting us stuck somewhere downtown nowhere near where we wanted to go. At the last stop we got off hoping that maybe the bus driver was wrong. There in front of us was not SFU, but a community college that shall remain nameless.

“They should where SFU is.” I say, confidence in my voice covering the fear that I had screwed up badly and we would miss our first class.

Security was the closest window in the college with people in it. I approached. “Can you tell me how to get to SFU Harbourside from here, I think it’s close.” I say, hoping that I will see a smile and a quick list of directions. The frown and subtle head shake weakened me to the point of having to put down my laptop.

To be sure though, the security guard pulled up Google Map and plugged in SFU. Low and behold, SFU Harbourside was one block down and one block over, a total of four minutes away. A sigh of relief passed my lips and Wendy smiled.

As we walked I mused on the truth I’d learned so far. Just because a major landscape exists within a five walking minute radius, don’t expect anyone who works in the area to know where the hell it is. Google map, is the only way to get directions.

Contest Bonanza! Chocolate and Books Galore! (Ended)

Here it is folks, contest #2! Last time I gave away books and coffee, this time it will be books and CHOCOLATE! I know I feel like the kid in the picture whenever I think about chocolate!

1st Prize : Mistborn trilogy by Branden Sanderson + Lindor Chocolate

2nd Prize: The Guardian : Shadowland Series by CJ Gosling (signed copy) + Purdy's Chocolate

3rd Prize : Witchling by Yasmine Galenorn + a chocolate bar of your choice

How to Win :

Super easy peasy guys and gals. You just gotta love me! :)

Follow my blog : 1 entry

Follow me on Twitter : 1 entry

Put me on your blog roll or blog about me or the contest : 1 entry

RT the contest on Twitter : 1 entry

Here's the hard part, really difficult so pay close attention. If you want your points to count :

YOU MUST MAKE A COMMENT ON THIS POST TELLING ME HOW YOU'VE EARNED YOUR ENTRIES.

I will make an example entry on the comments.

That way I know who wants to be a part of the contest. Some people are great and they RT for the contest, join the blog because I'm so cool (don't laugh) but they don't want to win books or chocolate. I know, it's crazy, but true. So be sure to make a comment on this post so I can put you in the draw.

This contest will run until November 30th, midnight. So get your entries in and feel free to comment several times as you add to your entries.

Good luck to you all and let the winning begin!

Writing Allergies and Irritants

As a writer, there a few things more irritating than a pen that runs out of ink at the climax of a scene that’s been building for five pages. An irritant like that can feel at time like a bad case of allergies. I've come up with a few more irritants that make me want to alternately pull my hair our or throw my computer out the window or both at the same time. And here they are.

1. This one is an irritant to many who aren’t writers too I’m quite sure. The phone. It never rings until I’m comfortable in my chair, laptop revved up and fingers are on the keyboard. And it's across the room.

2. The weather. Why is it so damn sunny and nice out on my days I set aside for writing? I want it dark and stormy, a real mood intensifier. Not some unseasonably warm , happy come play outside temptation of a day.

3. Slow Internet is the bane of my existence. I have to wait to get to a wireless café or steal from my neighbour if I want to upload pictures on the blog (of which you will see are absent from this post) or if I even want to send out a large attachment.

4. The cat, much as I love her, seems to feel that if I’m writing, she must not be getting the attention she deserves. This also applies to the dogs, my husband and numerous other people who shall remain nameless.

5. Unknown technical problems. Like the computer shutting itself off with unsaved work on the screen. Or randomly choosing not to hook up to the Internet. Or choosing not to be able to find files that I have JUST saved.

6. Not hearing back from agents, editors or publishers in the time frame that THEY give. My agent isn’t a problem (She’s wonderful!), but I’m finding that publishing houses and editors don’t follow much in the way of their own time lines. Poopy heads.

7. Someone who has never written a book telling you how you should write yours. Or how they could write a book no problem, they just never got around to it. I try not to strangle these people. I prefer to kill them off in a scene somewhere. Preferably a nice, gruesome scene. Maybe turn them into a rotting zombie.

8. People asking, “Aren’t you done yet?” or “You’re a writer?” both are said with a large dose of snobbery and condescension. And yes, I have had people ask me these things.

9. A minor character in your book suddenly deciding to take on a life of their own and you realize that you now have to write them their own story. Or series. This one isn’t all bad, just one of those moments that you let out a sigh and wish your characters would sometimes, once in a while, behave themselves.

10. Last but not least. You finish your book, hand it out to your beta readers or editor, they give you their feedback and you realize that you have to cut out a massive chunk of your book and re-write it. Yes it will make the book better, but damn, I always wish I could have figured it out sooner and saved myself some grief.

Like a bad case of hives, these irritants can really get under your skin if you let them and worse, they can completely derail you from your writing progress. Take a deep breath, a walk in that beautiful sunshine that’s tempting you and let the irritation go.

I would love to hear what other irritants are out there, so comment away, tell us how bad a case of hives you’ve got and how you deal with them.

Upon Completion of a Manuscript

It's done, it's done, it's done!

I finished book # 2 of my Chronicles of Sin series at about 8am this morning. A huge relief that A. I could finish a book in a relatively short period of time including the first round of edit/revisions, B. it looks like its at the very least as good as the first book if not better and C. I can now pitch that I have the first two books completed and not just in an outline form.

The weird thing is, I don't know what to do with myself now. I'm waiting to hear back from Carolyn if I should continue on this series and start #3 or if I should start a different book altogether. But its been so long since I have done anything with available time but write, I feel a little lost.

So I've started to play on the Internet, looking up goofy, goony things. There is some seriously funny stuff out there, laugh out loud and make people stare at you funny stuff! Let me share a few of the pictures I've found with you. My favorite is the last one :)

My Conference Faux Pas X 3

Oh, this is a bit of a teaser. You can laugh at me all you want, but you will have to go to Jeffrey Beesler's World of the Scribe blog. The reason?

I'm going a guest blog! Wow, like a real grown up writer or something. It's my most embarrassing moments from the Seattle conference, so be sure to enjoy it.

Many thanks to Jeff for the opportunity, he has a really good blog and I appreciate the chance to expose myself and my style to his followers. Get your mind out of the gutter.

So be sure to check it out, maybe even considering following Jeff's blog if you aren't already as he has some great writing on there!

Agent Update

Two posts in one day is a record for me, but I promised an update. I sent an email off to the agent, only moments before my last post. As I was writing my poorly spell checked "Herre we go!" the agent responded, replying that she had really enjoyed our visit at the conference, had read my submissions package which included my first three chapters in between appointments and wanted my full ms as soon as possible. My response was immediate crazyness and that's when my spell check went out the window and I just posted the blog as is.

Thinking that I was on to fame and fortune, I attempted to attach my ms as the agent requested. Which was when BOTH of my computers decided that was too much work for them and please don't ask again cause neither wanted to make ANY attachments for me! Crap! So, thinking the problem may have been my Internet connection, I leapt into my truck, laptop in hand, and sped to the neighbours where I know I can pick up a wireless signal. I had to climb through their fence, laptop under my arm as they have a gate with a keyed entry.

The neighbours dog decided that today would be the day to not like me and he chased me all the way down to the house. Not wanting to interrupt the neighbours, I hopped into their Gator (kind of like a suped up quad), dog still barking and sent off the email post haste.

Ten minutes later, the agent had called me and we had a nice chat about my book, her excitement and how I had come up with some of my ideas. Since then, all has been quiet and I have been working on fleshing out the outline for book number two. Soon as something happens, I will give another update, no matter the time! Just hoping I don't have to dodge the dog any time soon.

Writing Partner

There is a picture of my cat, Faline aka Feemie aka Squeakie that would have been posted along with this if my computer wasn't being a pill but as it is you will have to do without for now.

As I speak she, Falene, is circling my office, preparing to leap onto my desk, covertly dodge around my printer, then finally plop herself into my lap. This is where she sits when I am at my desk, most times with her front legs and head draped across one of my arms. Makes it interesting to write.

Better yet though, is when she crams herself between me and my laptop. Oh yes, she does.

Ah well, she keeps my lap warm and my spelling questionable, but she also provides warmth for my cold typing hands and entertainment when she decides the words being typed should be chased across the screen.

What I can't wait for is when I can put her name on my business card as my "Office Manager" because I'm working from home as a full time writer. Has a nice ring to it wouldn't you say? Squeakie, Office Manager. Mabye I can put one of the dogs down as a consultant. ;)

Funnies

I have heard some good sayings lately, things I actually wrote down they were so funny, unusual or downright perfect for the moment. Here they are in no particular order :

"Mother of pearl!" - a statement of "how stupid could I be?" when you are somewhere that there are little ears listening.

"Gossip is like ice cream for Port Alberni, you just can't get enough of it." -Put whatever town you would like in here, I m sure you can think of a few.

"We're tight, like a fat kid in spandex." -Self explanatory

"Dumbassidy" - the trait of being a dumb ass, eg." You've got some serious dumbassidy!"

Query Gaffs

With my ms undergoing revisions, I don't have very much to report on in the way of query letters, rejections(which of course won't happen the next time around), requests for material and so on. I have however had some interesting experiences when it comes to getting feedback from agents. Allow me to elaborate.

There was the instance where I received a rejection and along with the polite decline of my ms and attached to my email were two stories. Now, neither of them were mine, both looked to be the first chapter or portion of a chapter that two individuals had sent in. This made me wonder if any portion of my ms ended up on someone else's rejection email. And no, neither story was all that good.

Or there was the time that I had a request for the first 50 pages of my ms, which coincidentally I had already sent in. The request was rather snotty so I immediately went to reply(didn't want to irritate them further) and saw that not only was my 50 pages attached at the bottom of THEIR email they had sent me, they were replying to me off of my original query that had my first 50 pages of my ms attached as per their request. Hmm. Perhaps some new glasses?

And then my favorite was the very detailed rejection letter from an agent who had requested my ms. It was a good page long, detailing why my ms wasn't what this agent was looking for. Only one problem. The name of the manuscript onthe letter was not mine. Turns out after a few back and forth emails that this agent uses this very detailed letter as their form letter to make it look like there is more put into the rejection letter than there really was and he had forgotten to change the name of the ms in the form letter. Oops.

So what does this tell you and me? Agents are human, they mess up and make mistakes just like the rest of us and sometimes there is nothing to do but laugh, particularly when receiving rejections so goofed up.

Phobias spelled Out

Okay, the day before Halloween and I just couldn't resist. This started at the Writers conference as a way to learn new words. If I heard a word I didn't know I wrote it down in the back of my notebook and looked it up later. I found out that a misogynist was a hater of women and that gravitas was seriousness of sobriety. But my favorite new word is Peoria(sp?) the fear of having too many mashed potatoes! I have been looking for a conformation that this word exists but no such luck. However, in my search I have found some interesting phobias and some down right unbelievable phobias.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia---the fear of long words

Logophobia---the fear of words (no worries for me there)

Mythophobia---the fear of stories or myths(hope there aren't too many of these people around)

Omphalophobia---fear of belly buttons

Papaphobia---fear of the pope

Zemmiphobia---fear of the great mole rat

And then there is my personal favorite, Dutchphobia---fear of the Dutch

So while I cannot confirm fear of too many mashed potatoes, there are quiet a few other words, and phobias,out there to be discovered. If you'd like to share some on the comments I would like to see what other people have got on their own lists of new words.