Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Monday, December 20, 2010

Twas the Night before Christmas - Urban Fantasy Style

I hope all you urban fantasy lovers enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Twas the Night before Christmas - Urban Fantasy Style

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the grave
Every creature was stirring, invited to a rave.
The stockings were fish net, they had mighty flare,
In hopes that Laurell Hamilton soon would be there.

The vampires were stylin’, dressed mostly in reds,
While visions of blood donors danced in their heads.
Only one lonely zombie, a strange little chap,
Alongside the Werewolves who paced, ready to snap.

When one of the tombstones fell with a clatter,
All Supes sprang into action to see what was the matter.
The moved in a dark horde, quick as The Flash,
Surrounded the gravestone, fists ready to bash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to their blood lusting eyes should appear,
But a sharp wooden stake, and a note they all feared.

The words penned were harsh, they cut to the quick,
Even the vampires felt mildly sick.
A new Huntress was prowling, she sought only their pain,
She fully wrote her intentions, even signed with her name!

"I know what you are, that none in this cemetery are fake!
This Christmas Eve you die - by gun, flame or stake!
The invites I wrote, signed LKH so no Supe would stall.
Now I’ll kill you all surely, I’ll watch you all fall."

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
The Supes they all scattered – ran for their lives,
For the Huntress they feared was soon to arrive.

And then, in a twinkling, they heard a soft click
The sound of a gun loading smooth and real slick.
The zombie tucked its rotted head, and was turning around,
When the whistle of death, took said zombie down.

Next came the Were’s in fur, from their heads to their feet,
They dodged the bullets that came on like sleet.
But it was to no avail, the Huntress was trained well,
In moments the whole pack was sent off to Hell.

The vamps were now pissed and turned Huntress to prey.
They found her crouched amid tombstones, her eyes feral and fae.
Her mouth tightened hard as she drew up her crossbow,
And the first vamp to die was as white as the snow.

The stump of another soon littered the ground,
And the smoke from the flame thrower began to circle around.
The Huntress she laughed while she ran vamps through the belly,
That shook when she twisted the blade, like a bowlful of jelly!

The last vampire held in his teeth a cheroot,
He bowed to the Huntress, a mocking salute,
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave the impression of nothing but dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the battle,
And even the Huntress was soon feeling rattled.
With one last mighty effort she laid him to rest,
Knowing she’d done all she could to give humans the best.

She sprang to her hummer, gave a sharp piercing whistle,
And away the remains flew like the down of a thistle.
In the night air she exclaimed, ‘ere she drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all humans, and to all Supes a good-night!"

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas Writing Excuses

The holidays are usually filled with sugarplums and eating too much, candy, new gadgets, blinking lights, sparkling tinsel and lots and lots of eggnog.

This year though I will be starting a new tradition, one that I'm sure many other writers have faced. I have time off through the holidays and during that time off I will be not only working on revisions for Book #2, I will also be working on revisions (hopefully minor) for Book #1. These said revisions need to be finished and polished for . . .wait for it . . .

January 5th.

That's three weeks on the button. Am I upset about this? Not in the least! This means I have the perfect excuse to get out of all the overeating, excessive drinking, having to talk with people and make nice even though I will probably NEVER meet them again, parties. Because now I can say,

"Nope, can't come. Must write."

Ahh. I am so looking forward to the next three weeks. :)

The question to all of you is, do you use your writing as an excuse to get out of things you don't want to do?

Thursday, December 09, 2010

An Honest Writer's Christmas List

Ah, the Christmas list. A serious bone of contention in our house, one that leads often to heated debates of to be surprised or not be surprised, which is better?

Regardless of the fact that yes, I do like surprises and prefer not to write an exhaustive Christmas list, I thought it might be interesting to write a list of the things that I and many other writers really do want.

1. Pens and paper aside as those always end up in a writer’s stocking, how about a laptop? Maybe a Mac, cause we all know that the better the laptop, the better the writing.

2. Don’t forget that just because we have a laptop, doesn’t mean an I Pad isn’t useful. In fact, we as writers could be writing and researching at the same time if these first two items were under the tree.

3. A nice big, fat substantial edit from someone like CA Marshall (who is holding a contest right now to win said edit). If only our loved ones knew how we’d squeal and jump to see this lit up by sparkling lights and tinsel.

4. To find the paper work to a major writer’s conference, like Pacific Northwest Writers or Surrey International would be enough for some writers to break out of their usual quiet, reclusive writer self and go screaming around the house scaring all the cats.

5. A writers retreat us something most writers only dream of, a place of solitude and inspiration where the only demand is to write is on my list. I prefer a beach side hut, or mountain chalet if I’m being really honest.

6. Here comes the big one. Have the loving spouse go and find you an agent. Surely at Best Buy there is an isle where you could pick and choose. Or maybe Bed Bath and Beyond would have a back room of agents.

7. And if an agent seems to difficult for the loved ones to find, perhaps they would have better luck going straight to the source and be able to procure a contract with a publisher. Hmm. That would be the best ever!

8. Our own personal marketer and PR director to run all the social media that is needed to get your name out there so you as a writer could focus on just the writing.

9. A dinner/lunch date with your favourite author and they didn’t mind when you peppered them with questions.

10. And the realist in me is going to put out there that if you are totally stumped on what to buy for your reclusive, cranky writer, get them a gift card for Chapters, Barnes and Noble or some other bookstore (e-book counts too).

There’s the list, hope it helps for all of you buying for a writer or two. As always, if you would like to add to the list, please do, I have a few writers I need to buy for and damn they are a hard bunch!